


Hell of a Workout

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [31]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Bromance, F/M, Humor, Lucifer is a dork, Lucifer is so clueless at times, Naked Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 16:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11490597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: Dan invites Lucifer to work out at the gym with him, but it doesn’t go quite as expected.Takes place after S2x14 but before S2x17.One-shot.





	Hell of a Workout

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Navaros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Navaros/gifts).



> Thank you SO SO MUCH to my wonderful friend Navaros, who posted the video of Tom Ellis working out in silly workout clothes on Tumblr and wanted to know how Lucifer would react if he had to dress that way. I hope you enjoy the little story!
> 
> A special shout out to my wonderful friend, ScooterThyme for beta-ing and and providing the title. Thank you!
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker, and Dan Espinoza are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

 

“Hey, you wanna work out together at the gym?”

Lucifer looked up from doodling on the file laying on Chloe’s work desk and blinked at Dan, who had just walked over and made the surprising request.  After glancing around his partner’s office to make sure there wasn’t someone else in the room, the fallen angel returned his gaze to the detective.

“Are you talking to me?”

“There isn’t anyone else around.”

“You want me to go to the gym with you.”  Lucifer frowned as he furrowed his brows.  Had the douche lost his mind?  Dan had never liked him, and the feeling was mutual, so it didn’t make any sense.  “Why on earth would I want to do that?”

Dan sighed.  “I just figured we could... you know, hang out together.  Work out.  Do guy stuff.”

The fallen angel set down his pen, and swiveled on his chair to face him.  “But... why?”

“Why?”

“Yes.  Why.”  Lucifer’s eyes lit up as he smiled broadly.  “Are... are you interested in me?”

“No!”  Frustration was evident in Dan’s voice as he rolled his eyes.  “Look, you saved Chloe’s life, okay?  I just thought....  I really want to bury the hatchet.”

Surprise overtook Lucifer.  He never expected the Douche to act... well, nice.  They usually gave each other a wide berth, exchanging pointed looks.  He disliked Dan because he was Chloe’s ex and had slept with Mum -- that still sent chills down his spine -- while Dan disliked him for... well, reasons unknown.  He was a charming Devil, after all, totally magnetic, and well loved by everyone....  Well, almost everyone, he thought as he eyed the human.

But he supposed he should give the douche -- Daniel -- a chance.  Ever since he had been Dan Number 2 for a bit, he didn’t feel quite as antagonistic toward him, and the man _had_ helped save Chloe’s life, so.....  “Right.  Well, as long as you don’t bury the hatchet in my head, I suppose we can try.”

For a moment Dan looked startled, as if he had fully expected Lucifer to refuse, then nodded.  “Oh.  Okay!  Okay, great.”

Lucifer rose from his seat.  “Shall we go?”

The other man looked stunned.   _“Now?”_

“Well I assumed you meant now, since you were asking.”  He squinted at Daniel.  “Was I mistaken?”

“No, no... just a little surprised, that’s all.”  The other man let out a little chuckle, then looked him over with a critical eye.  “You’re not going like that, are you?”

The fallen angel glanced down at his Prada suit.  “Whatever is wrong with my clothes?”

“You can’t work out like that.  You won’t be able to move or breathe --”

A wicked grin split Lucifer’s face as he ran his tongue over his teeth.  “Ooooh, you make it sound quite kinky.  I never knew you were into that sort of thing, Daniel.  I always had the impression that you were quite vanilla.”

A distasteful expression crossed the other man’s face.  “Stop, will you? Will you just...”  He rubbed his forehead.  “Don’t you have any workout clothes?”

The fallen angel’s brows rose.  “Why would I need workout clothes?  They are dreadfully unstylish, and besides, I despise exercise.”

Dan’s mouth fell open.  “But... if you don’t work out, how did you beat up Dave Maddox’s goons when we went to get the formula for Chloe?”

“Simple.  I’m the --”

The human’s eyes rolled to the ceiling.  “Devil.  Yeah, yeah, whatever. Why do I even ask?”

Just then Chloe walked up to her desk, carrying a stack of files.  “Hey, Dan.  Lucifer.  What are you guys up to?”

“Daniel has invited me to go to the gym with him,” Lucifer said with a grin.

The blonde detective gaped at both men.  “You... and Dan.”

“Yeah.”  Dan nodded.  “I mean, why not, right?”

Amusement danced in her eyes.  “You... and Lucifer.”  She chuckled.  “This I have to see.”

“What?  No!  It’s a guy thing!” Dan said just as Lucifer piped up, “Oh yes, join us, please!  I’d love to see you in some skimpy leotard --”

“Never mind,” Chloe chuckled as she sat down at her desk, then smiled up at the two of them.  “But be sure to tell me about your man-date later.”

“It’s not a man-date!” Dan protested.

“I’ll give you all the naughty details,” Lucifer said at the same time.  She just laughed at the two men.

Grabbing the fallen angel’s arm, Dan dragged him away.  “Come on, I’ll help you shop.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

Shopping for clothes with Daniel was terribly boring.

Lucifer shook his head with disappointment.  The human had absolutely no sense of style, and didn’t even let him try on the clothes he picked for him!  He would have been more than happy to model the styles for Daniel, but that man’s idea of shopping was: get in as fast as possible, grab whatever one could, then throw money at the cashier and dash out quickly.  It pained Lucifer’s shopping sensibilities.  After all, picking out the perfect clothes to wear was a fine art....

Once they arrived at the gym, Dan left him in the locker room and ran off to stake a claim on the weightlifting area.  Taking his time, Lucifer pulled his new clothes out of his bag, ripping tags off as he did so.  He wasn’t sure that they were to his taste, but....

When he walked out of the locker room and met Dan near the dumbbells, he held out his hands and did a pirouette for him.  “Well?  What do you think?”

The other man blinked.  “Uh... okay.  Yeah.  You look good.”

“Do I?”  The fallen angel turned to the mirror and frowned.  “No, I don’t.  Right.  I look like some reject from a DC comic book.  I mean, look at these baggy shorts, they do nothing for my fine physique!  After all, if I’m wearing tights underneath, shouldn’t I have something tighter fitting, like Superman’s trunks?”

“Lucifer --”

“And this shirt!  Really, Daniel, couldn’t you find something more stylish for me?  I’d much rather work out naked.”  His face immediately brightened.  “That’s it!”  Doffing off his shirt, he threw it onto the floor.

“What are you doing?!” Dan screeched as Lucifer tossed the shorts away.

“Why, getting naked, of course.”  The fallen angel then pulled the compression leggings down around his ankles.  They were so tight that he had dressed sans boxer shorts, which made stripping so much easier....  “You said I’d have to breathe and move to work out.  What better way to do that than to do it au naturel?”  Lucifer turned and grinned at the people around him.  The gym had gone deathly silent as everyone just stared.  He waved happily at them, then kicked the tights aside.  “There!  Isn’t this much better?”

Snatching the clothes off the floor, Dan thrust them at Lucifer’s wedding tackle and exposed rear, hiding his naked splendor from everyone.  “No, it is not better,” he growled.  “For crying out loud, will you put your clothes back on?!”

The Devil stared at his companion, puzzled at his reaction.  “What’s wrong?  I mean, we’re here in a sweaty gym.  I thought you humans were all into the glistening muscles and the exposed chests.  I do manscape so you can’t fault me there --”

The other man bared his teeth at Lucifer as he got nose to nose with him.  “Just get your clothes on.”

“But --”

“Hey, Dan.  Who’s your buddy?”  One of the gym members walked up to them, checking out Lucifer with a predatory gleam in his eye.

“Hey Brian.  This is Lucifer, a coworker.”

“I can totally take him off your hands, if he needs a guiding hand with the weights.”

Dan shifted from foot to foot as his eyes flew to the fallen angel’s, then back to the newcomer’s.  “Uhhhh....”

“Oh, lovely!” Lucifer interrupted.  “Only I’m Daniel’s playdate for today, so perhaps another time?”

“Sure.  What a shame though.”  Brian smiled, giving him a hungry look that was hot enough to set the building on fire, before sauntering away.

“Why did you make it sound like we’re on a date?” Dan hissed.

The Devil stared at the other man with surprise.  “But aren’t we though?  Isn’t this a workout date?  Even the detective called it a man-date --”

For an answer, the human flung his hands in the air and rolled his eyes.  “Just get dressed, will you?”

“Oh, very well.  I don’t see why you’re so upset, though.”  Lucifer quickly pulled on the tights, then a wicked thought occurred to him.  “Unless you were unhappy that Brian was interested in me?  Perhaps you’d like to have a little of that interest swing your way?  I could make that happen, you know --”

He started after the large man, but Dan stopped him with a hand on his arm.  “Goddamn it, Lucifer, I am _not_ interested in him, okay?  Put the rest of your clothes on!  Sheesh!”

Once the fallen angel was back in his unattractive gym outfit, his companion calmed down.  That was a relief for Lucifer, who found the man’s reactions completely inexplicable.  After all, even the ancient Greeks were naked when they participated in the Olympics....

After a quick session of stretches and mobility exercises, Dan handed him a pair of dumbbells.  “Here.”

Lucifer studied them with interest.  “What am I supposed to do with these?”  Then his face lit up.  “Oh! Are these those shake weights you see on the telly in the middle of the night?”  He shook them along their axes, then started to dance a little jig in time to the music in his head.

His companion grabbed the weights, stilling Lucifer’s dance.  “What the hell are you doing?”

“Aren’t these shake weights?” The fallen angel glanced down at the ten pound dumbbells and gave them another shake.  “I can’t say they give a very good workout --”

“Dude, these are _not_ shake weights. Will you stop that?  You look like an idiot.”

Lucifer pouted.  “But....”

“Just work out like a normal human being, okay?”  Dan started doing curls.  The fallen angel watched him for a moment, then mimicked him -- or tried to.  The human was sweating, grunting and straining, although the Devil couldn’t figure out why.  Quite frankly, the weights weren’t heavy.  He pretended to struggle a bit, then gave up.  Pretending to lift something as if it was heavy when it wasn’t was harder than it looked.

 “Are your weights heavier than mine?” Lucifer asked as he eyed his companion’s dumbbells.  “You seem to be having a lot more trouble....”

“I started you with light weights, since you said you don’t work out.”  Dan stopped lifting the dumbbells and studied him with narrowed eyes.  “Are those are too light for you?”

“Well, yes.  I can hardly feel them --”

“Then try these.”  Dan exchanged the ten pound weights for twenty pound ones.

Lucifer easily did curls as if he was lifting a pencil.  “Still too light.”

“What about these?”  The twenty pound weights were exchanged for thirty.

He sighed with boredom.  “Nope.”

Dan’s eyes grew wide as he exchanged the weights for fifty pound dumbbells.  The Devil rolled his eyes.  “Seriously, don’t you have anything heavier?”

“Okay, fine.  If you think you can do better, try this.”  Dan grabbed the hundred pound dumbbells and handed them to the fallen angel.

“Honestly, I don’t see the point in this,” Lucifer said as he easily did curls with the heaviest dumbbells available.  “How can you get a workout if the weights aren’t even heavy?”

The detective’s mouth fell open.  “God, you’re a freak.”

“Yes, I quite agree that he is.  A manipulative one, if you ask me.”  Lucifer set the weights down on the rack.

“Huh?”

The fallen angel frowned.  His companion looked quite confused.  Perhaps all this silly exercise was affecting his brain?  “Nevermind.  Can we go now?  I find this whole endeavor pointless.”  He smiled at Daniel, eager to extend the good relations, although he wasn’t sure why.  “Right.  Why don’t we go down to the local pub instead?  I’ll buy you a drink.”

Dan snorted and shook his head before his mouth quirked up.  “Yeah, okay.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

“So how was your bromance?”

Lucifer glanced at Chloe, then back at Dan as they entered her office.  They hadn’t been gone that long, and his companion had insisted on drinking a soda instead of anything hard.  “Still on duty,” he had said, which had been disappointing, but understandable.  The man was hopelessly square.

“I think it went rather well,” the fallen angel said with a grin.  Lifting his chin, he closed his eyes and puffed his chest out.  “You’d be proud of me, Detective.  I actually exercised today.”

Chloe’s mouth twitched up into a smile.  “Did you?”

Pushing his way to his ex-wife’s side, Dan shook his head and pointed at Lucifer while addressing her.  “Do you know what this guy did?”

Her brows went up as her eyes danced with merriment.  “What?”

“He stripped right there in the middle of the gym!”

Lucifer blinked with puzzlement.  “Was that bad?  I thought everyone appreciated seeing my naked splendor.  After all, it’s not every day one lays eyes on perfection!”

Dan groaned.  “Dude, you flashed everyone in the gym!”

“Well, you must admit, those clothes were terribly unfashionable --”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

The fallen angel couldn’t see any reason why the man would be so upset, except....  Cocking his head, he asked, “Were you jealous that Brian was paying attention to me?”

“No!”

“Because I can hook you up --”

Dan’s face turned three different shades of red before he finally flung up his hands and stalked away.  “Dick!”

A little hurt at the insult, Lucifer snapped back, “Douche!”  Chloe’s chuckle had him whirling to look at her.  “What’s so funny?”

“You two are just adorable.”  The blonde detective’s eyes sparkled at him.  “You both love each other -- admit it.”

“Love that douche?  Pah.  You must be joking.”  The Devil turned up his nose and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  “Hmph.”

Chloe rose from her desk to stand next to him.  Laying a gentle hand on his forearm, she said, “I’m glad you went with Dan.”

Her fingers seared his arm as his heart started thumping furiously in his chest.  Struggling to adopt a nonchalant attitude even though his insides sang with happiness at her touch, he stared down at her.  “You are?”

She nodded.  “Uh huh.  It was a nice thing you did, and it’s good to see you both getting along a little better.”

He snorted.  “Right.  I’m not sure you can call this --”  He tossed his chin in the direction of Dan’s desk.  “-- getting along better. He’s still a douche.”  When Chloe lowered her hand to her side, the fallen angel keenly felt the loss, but kept his face as impassive as possible.  She didn’t need to know how much her touch still affected him.

“If he’s such a douche, why did you go with him?”

Cocking his head, Lucifer stared up at the ceiling as his brows drew together.  Why _had_ he gone with the douche?  He could have easily said no....  “I... I don’t know.”  He struggled to put into words how he felt.  “He wanted to bury the hatchet.  I thought... well....  I mean, it would be nice....”  His voice petered off before he narrowed his eyes and looked at her.  “You know, I really don’t know why I went with him.”

A soft smile graced her countenance.  “I think I know.”

“Really?”  Lucifer’s eyebrows shot up.  “Well... do tell, Detective.  I’m waiting with bated breath.”

Chloe’s eyes were shrewd as they studied him.  “You don’t think he’s a bad sort, not really.  I think you actually like him, and want to bury the hatchet, too.  You want to be friends with him.”

_Friends?_  With the douche?!  Lucifer’s insides cringed at the thought, even though deep down inside he had the horrible feeling that she was right.  “That’s ridiculous.”

A chuckle escaped her.  “Say what you like, but I know the truth.”

His brows furrowed in confusion.  “The truth?”

Reaching up, she patted his arm.  “Deep down inside, you’re sweet.”

Heat rushed up Lucifer’s neck and culminated in his cheeks, turning his face a bright red.  Warmth swept through him at her words -- she thought he was sweet! -- before he realized what she had said.  Horror clawed at him as Chloe returned to her desk and picked up some files.  Sweet?   _Him?!_  “Detective, please -- the Devil is not sweet!”

“Uh huh.”  Even though her face was composed into a serene expression, Lucifer still got the impression she was amused.

“I’m dashing!  Sexy!  Never sweet --”

“Sure.”  Pushing past him, she walked out into the bullpen and hollered over her shoulder.  “I’ll see you later, Lucifer.  I have a meeting with the lieutenant.”

“I am _not sweet!”_ he yelled after her.

Her laughter filled the air as she left him behind.

Lucifer glared at Chloe until she vanished down a hall before his face softened and his mouth gentled into a smile.  Well...!  His insides still glowed from her words.  Yes, it was horrifying to be described -- quite wrongly -- as sweet, but she had looked upon him with warmth in her eyes....  It had been a long time since she had done that.  Not since he’d left her in the hospital before running to Las Vegas had she looked upon him with such favor.

Pressing his eyes shut, he took a deep breath as hope filtered throughout his body.  Perhaps they were finally getting back on the right track.  Maybe they could go back to the way they were before... maybe.  Even though his heart craved her affection, he knew he could only settle for friendship.  Still, how he longed to see her gaze at him with love in her eyes -- just once more.  That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?   He’d gladly let her call him sweet a million times, if she would just look at him that way again.

Letting out a rueful chuckle, Lucifer shook his head at his own folly.  Pining for what could never be was a useless endeavor -- he had to be satisfied with how they were now, for he’d never let Dad take her choice away again.  He loved her far too much to compromise her freedom.  Content with his decision, he left the precinct and took himself off to LUX.

Tonight seemed like a fine night for some dancing, a little music... and a good, stiff drink.

 

 


End file.
